Uganda

 

As most of the readers here know, we're headed to Uganda in a few short weeks.  

For a long time, almost four years, we were set on doing ministry in Argentina.  We had planned a future in our minds.  It included where we would live, who we would be working with, what our lives might look like.  I think because we were so dead set on going to Argentina, we missed God's voice in our lives over the last few years.  

There was such a deep feeling of frustration and pain as we pursued going to Argentina.  I am not sure how else to describe it.  We were unhappy.  We struggled to meet goals.  We felt angry.  We fought.  We couldn't figure out where the pain was coming from when we felt like we were following God's call on our lives.  It has been a rough few years.  Not once during this time did we think any of it had to do with going to Argentina.  

But last year something broke inside of me.  I was struggling so much and one morning I woke up with a prayer in my heart that begged God to unsettle us.  I was terrified to pray this because I have seen what God has done in people's lives who pray this.  But I did pray this, for many months.

As time passed we started seeing little things speaking to us.  We began to talk about them.  We re-started conversations we've had again and again about Brandon's call to work with children.  Brandon took a trip to Haiti, where the most defining moments there for him involved the children.  We began talking with people about our feelings about Argentina and about how Brandon was feeling more and more drawn into working with kids.  We started noticing a pattern in our lives of being involved with children and in children's ministry.  We also started hearing the words of confirmation that I think we both needed to hear in regards to switching ministries.  Everyone we talked to was so encouraging.

So...why Uganda?  We initially looked to say in South America, but many of the ministries there didn't speak to our hearts and Brandon found an amazing ministry in Uganda that looked like it was right up our alley.  So, we pursued it and in doing so have found a new sense of excitement and passion.  

When we go to Uganda in a few weeks we will be looking at the ministry and I will be blogging more about that when we know more.  Right now it just feels really exciting.  

Africa has always held a special place in my heart.  My parents took our family to Rwanda in 1990.  I was between my fifth and sixth grade years in school.  It was on the trip that I first felt the call to missions.  I haven't ever really wavered in that.  I remember leaving Rwanda and knowing that my heart and soul had been forever changed.  I would never view the world the same.  I haven't.  

When Brandon and I met and discovered we shared the same call I secretly hoped that he would be interested in Africa.  I prayed about it for a long time.  He never really was.  He wanted to see it, but he didn't know if he could live and work there.  When some friends of ours told us they would be moving to Rwanda to do missions work, I cried.  Returning to Africa has been something heavy on my heart for years and years.  It was a dream I was more than willing to give up if God called us elsewhere, but I would need time to mourn the loss of that particular dream.  Many people who have been there have said that Africa kind of gets a hold of you in unexpected ways.  It's true.  I was willing to reconcile the fact that I loved Africa with the fact that I may never return there.  I was willing to do so because I felt so humbled and joyful that God had called us into missions in the first place.  I would go where He wanted us to.  I knew I wouldn't be the one to dictate that it not be one place over another.  But, I still mourned it from time to time.

So, imagine my surprise when Brandon started talking about Uganda.  Imagine my surprise when we starting researching the ministry there and it fit so perfectly with our hearts.  I was literally stunned.  WHAT???  Africa???  After all of this?  Africa?  After spending two years trying to get to Argentina?  After working through the process of saying goodbye to that dream?  I had said goodbye!  After spending two months in Argentina investing in the ministry there and falling in love with the missionaries and people we would be working with?  It was very bittersweet.  

In the weeks following our decision to walk away from a ministry in Argentina we have felt a renewed sense of purpose.  We have come together better as a couple than we have in a long time.  We have seen a huge leap in our support.  We have felt God's confirming hand throughout this entire process.  

So, today, with about three weeks left until we take off for Ugandan soil, I am reflecting upon the way God speaks to us.  As we have prayed and talked and prayed and talked we only know a few things for sure.  First, sometimes it's not at all about the destination in some far off future, it's about the process and the journey while getting there.  Second, God is a God of wonderful and amazing surprises.  He continues to surprise in our lives with his abundant blessings.  Third, God hears our prayers.  He may not always answer them in the ways we want or expect him to, but he hears us.  The timing between our prayers and His answers may not always make us happy, but just listen.  Sometimes He's talking right back and we are deaf to him.  Fourth, our dreams for our lives may not be God's plan for our life.  Take the time to seek out God's will.  

We don't know if Uganda is the place for us.  That's why we're going.  We pray it is.  But for now, we do know it's a step in the right direction.  We hope this trip will be the beginning of something cool, whether we wind up there or not.